Romir Swar Week 12: Oh Brother(sister?)
I’ve always wanted a younger sibling.
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Freshman Year.
Being a part of the Leadership class since my first year of high school, I was introduced to many upperclassmen. Freshman year specifically, I grew extremely, extremely close to some.
Whenever current leadership students ask me about it, I like to say that I walked into a room of strangers and exited the year with a new family.
These upperclassmen—or as I call some of them, older siblings—have impacted my life in ways they will never know, and probably in ways that I never realized.
I don’t know if this is simply because I looked up to them or because I was a dumb, little freshman—or maybe both—but I idolized them. When they spoke, I listened; every syllable spoken had to be memorized. When they instructed me, I followed—not that I had a choice lol.
Yet it never felt authoritative; it was always nurturing.
*sidenote: You know those moments when you think of someone after noticing a what-would-normally- be-ordinary action, but that trivial observation reminds you of them. This is what I experience everyday with my upperclassmen, after having gotten so close with them two years ago.
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Junior Year. We are all now upperclassmen.
Everyday, when I walk into Th.50, I think about my upperclassmen. I think about how they affected me. I think about how I felt around them. I think about my older siblings.
Everyday, when I walk into Th.50, I aspire to be like my upperclassmen. I want to be that same role model to the younger kids. I want to inspire these kids in the same ways I was inspired.
Through Spiritweek, all the Set-Ups&Take-Downs, and her ever-so-interesting freshman lore, I’ve grown extremely close with one of these kids. And I genuinely couldn’t be more grateful for her. This child has given me another reason to look forward to Leadership—one that I had not experienced till this year. When I speak, she listens—with an intent that I didn’t realize I probably carried. When I instruct, she follows—mostly because she has to (the newbie treatment is a joy I have experienced from both sides; I think I like this one more). Yes I troll, make fun of, and laugh at her all the time, but seeing her grow as a student, leader, and—more so—as a human brings a happiness that I haven't felt before.
While in my biological family, I will always be the younger brother, I am very proud to say that in my leadership family, I will always have a little sister—or at least for another year-and-a-half.
me as a freshman wow
Hi Romir! I actually had a great interaction with one of my seniors today so reading your blog today was perfect timing. While I was talking to him, it suddenly dawned on me that this time next year I am not going to see him walking in the hallways or spontaneously get boba after practices. I almost teared up but only momentarily because he made a funny comment afterwards. I like how you mentioned that your upperclassmen have shaped you because I think subconsciously they are our role models, and no matter how immature they may act sometimes we do value them deeply.
ReplyDeleteYour sidenote about how trivial things can remind us of the upperclassmen made me zone out for a moment. Nolan, a senior from last year, had a fascination with cargo pants so everytime I see someone wearing them, I am teleported back to Marching Band practices where he would tell me to lock in.
The idea that we are upperclassmen and the underclassmen might look at us with similar awe is kind of intimidating. I don’t feel like I am in any position to be a model for others. It’s a tad daunting. I think it’s pretty amazing that we can find family through people at school; I mean I suppose it’s bound to happen when you sometimes see them for several hours a day.
Lastly, is that Yoona? If so, and I highly doubt she knows me, but I genuinely saw her as a person with so much grace and composure. She always held herself with so much confidence and seemed so responsible when I saw her during Marching Band.
Now that we are finally in the shoes of our upperclassmen it adds to the realization that we are becoming older and it’s kind of exciting. Like you said, in our years of high school we not only ended up looking towards upperclassmen for help and guidance, we were encouraged to, in ways with springfest, link crew, and how you experienced leadership.
ReplyDeleteAlthough personally I did not interact with many outside of my grade my freshman year, my sophomore year is where I began to feel affected by those older than me. Similar to you I hung onto their “every” word and gained so much guidance and clarity going into my junior year.
This year through my POE class, a heavily sophomore dominated class, I can understand how you feel this sense of responsibility to be a role model for your “little sister.” Although sometimes irritating, the feeling of someone looking towards you for advice, guidance, or just someone to talk with, makes it feel as though you have finally matured into the people you used to idolize. I know despite the amount of times we joke around I will deeply miss them when I am gone. On a side note, it also makes me realize that we are nearing the end of our high school journey and we will soon be those clueless little freshmen looking for guidance once more.
Hi Romir! First of all, I love the way you’ve contextualized your blog. It’s very brief, but is able to both tell us when the first section of the blog is taking place and imply that the blog is going to be about the passing of time through high school. I also think that your blog is particularly unique; although you would think it’s common, I haven’t heard too many people actually discuss the growth and reflect on experiences they’ve had since freshman year. I assumed we’d save all the memories for when we’re seniors, but I appreciate your blog for pointing out the fact that we’ve had so much growth already.
ReplyDeleteI had a very generic schedule, and I didn’t take leadership—so my experience with upperclassmen in the past few years has been very limited. I would talk to my older sister, but not really anyone else. In the latter half of sophomore year, however, I’ve become good friends with many people in the class of 26, and have gotten to know better those who were once the sophomores and juniors I looked to for help with choosing AP classes or balancing chemical equations. Although I didn’t realize it, the limited interactions I had with them did truly impact my development (as you pointed out), and I’ll always be grateful for that.
Similarly, it’s hard to imagine that I would one day hold the same role that they did, but I’m sure they thought the same thing. Your experiences in leadership sound special, and I really enjoyed reading about them.
Romir, I was so, so excited when I saw you post this blog!! I love Yoona and I’m delighted to see that you were so close to her; seeing her even just in your image makes me so happy. I totally relate to your experience here and honestly, I was shocked how similar we feel about our upper and underclassmen.
ReplyDeleteThrough marching band, I was thrown into a section with seniors, juniors, sophomores, and freshmen like myself way back when. My fondest memories in marching band have been interactions with these upperclassmen, especially the upperclassmen of the class of 2024. I always refer to them as angels since I feel like they shaped me the most, were the most caring, and exuded the greatest leadership. One of these people was Ashwin, who I’m pretty sure was in leadership as well! Ashwin was always extremely kind to me and, like you, I’ve aspired to be even just half the leader he was for all the underclassmen I oversee in my section now. This line—“I want to inspire these kids in the same ways I was inspired”—rings so true for me as well.
As we draw closer toward our senior year, I’ve realized how much our upperclassmen have impacted us and that we will now only have underclassmen next year. Over the years, I’ve grown close to all these people. Some of them, again, like you, I see as my own younger siblings too. I’m always excited to see them, no matter how annoying they are. In my future senior season letters, I’ve considered telling them how much I used to want a younger sibling in my life too! The similarities I share with you are wild since I’m also a younger sister biologically, but I feel so connected to my underclassmen and hope to guide them just as my own upperclassmen did for me.