Tanisha Madhikar - Blog 12 - Home Alone
For the last two weeks I’ve been (essentially) living alone. To any other teenager that would be a dream; no parents, no rules, free to do whatever I want. My experience was a bit different though.
Coming from a large Indian family having lavish weddings is inevitable. So when my parents were invited to not one but two of these events, they couldn’t say no. Unfortunately, the weddings had to be during the middle of the most important year of my life (so far).
So as my parents boarded their AirIndia flight I was thinking about all the things I would be able to do once they left. All those hopes went out the window when I realized the amount of work I was left with. Taking care of a whole house on top of trying to balance school was my own personal nightmare.
As the days went on I felt more and more drained. I quickly realized that my parent’s absence was not the vacation I intended it to be. All my responsibilities piling on top of one-another, I eventually broke down. But it was then I realized my true appreciation towards my parents.
I never fully understood the amount of emotion and physical support my parents gave me, nor did I ever think taking care of myself would be this demanding. I learned that even when you have all the power it doesn’t mean that you’re necessarily happy. Balance in essential in living a fulfilling life, so even when you crave that imbalance when it’s finally granted you see it’s not all that you’ve desired.
Hi Tanisha! I am in a similar predicament myself because my mom has just left for India too. The first thought that came into my mind was how I could hang out with my friends without having to explain to my mom, which shows the strict program my household runs. However, today has been a really hard day for me and not being able to talk to my mom on my way home is not feeling too good. I was glad to see you add that parenthetical, “(so far),” after the junior year reference because while it feels tragic and is so mind-consuming it truly isn’t the end of the world.
ReplyDeleteA slightly less troublesome problem is that I have SO many dishes to do. I am going to thank her massively when I call her because my hands hurt from doing dishes for like half an hour each day and I have no idea how my parents do it so often. So while it may seem ridiculous to some to get upset over keeping your house clean, I can understand and I hope you’ll give yourself a break soon.
It is kind of ironic that we realize how awesome our parents are once we are away from them for a while. I don’t know how I am supposed to stay away from them in the future when I can hardly handle a couple days without them. We both should call our parents today, even if that call is going to be late into the night (the time difference is mind-boggling).
The struggle of doing the dishes is so real Harshi I feel your pain.
DeleteTanisha, I want to start by saying I love the topic you chose.
ReplyDeleteA couple different times this year, I've thought about writing about an extremely similar matter—just with slightly different circumstances. I will also say that I too experienced that dawn of realization of how much our parents do for us, and how much we should be appreciating them. I do wonder what you mean by the "essentially." Do you have siblings you need take care of, or have you been with family friends?
I heavily resonate with the "had to" part of your blog; it kind of sucks because this year has tested us (literally and figuratively) in ways we've never experienced before, and having the extra factors only surges the stress.
I think I also want to point out the fact that, in a way, the amount of schoolwork helped my situation, because it kept me SO SO busy. I couldn't think about anything else and I felt super productive—not to mention all the other responsibilities. I do feel like I grew in numerous ways—most notably how much more independent I've learned how to be.
Like Harshi, I appreciated the "so far" in parentheses as it's a reminder that there is so, so much more to life than this year, and there is so, so much more for all of us to accomplish.
Thank you for sharing this personal experience!
Tanisha, you’re very brave for keeping down the fort for two entire weeks! This year has been so busy and the amount of schoolwork we have now, coupled with the general housework needed to keep life running smoothly is a lot for just one person. I really appreciate you writing on this because I too have taken my parents’ efforts for granted as I constantly shirk some responsibilities in order to focus more on my studies. I couldn’t imagine the laundry, chores, cooking, and commuting you have to do alone like this.
ReplyDeleteBeing home alone is exceptionally blissful for like, the first five minutes. It feels totally exhilarating to be free of nagging until you see why chores are a thing. I definitely agree with you on realizing how lonely and demanding this can be, and I like the way you’ve tied this into power. I hope you’re doing a little better now (and hopefully your parents have returned at this point), and I wish you luck with managing your work from here on out. Just think: after this year, you could go to all the wonderful, extravagant weddings you desire!