Tanisha Madhukar - Blog 11 - Through My Window
My room has always been a place where I go to escape my worries and my thoughts. Growing up it had, what I thought, was the biggest window a bedroom could possibly hold. It took up the majority of the wall and, since there were holes in the net, it was completely open. I remember the view so vividly; the house behind mine, the inside loop of the road, and three palm trees in the far distance. I never felt trapped looking at that window.
When I was 7 I expressed to my parents my great interest in the planets and stars. Every night I’d stare at the moon in awe as it shined so bright, as if it was shining just for me. For my birthday they bought me this gigantic telescope. I still remember when my brother was finally able to assemble it, my family and I spent the whole night gazing at the stars through my window. It was the first time I saw Jupiter, and the first time I realized I really wanted to go into aerospace.
When I was 11 Covid-19 began to spread and the whole world was shut in. I was trapped in that little room for most of my day but I was far from bored. I woke up early one morning with meowing coming from my backyard. I peaked through the bright red curtain in front of my window and saw the more adorable black cats sitting on the fence. From that point onward I spend my mornings before online school staring, and meowing, at them in hopes they would notice me.
When I was 13 I woke up early, before the sun had even risen. I was rushing to finish some math assignment before I had to get ready for school. I finished early so I decided to open my window. I was astounded to see the most beautiful, breathtaking, sunrise I had ever seen in my life. Words cannot describe the feeling I had when I saw the colors swirl together, the crisp cold air that hit my red face when I slammed open the window. I felt like I wasn’t just in my room, I was in another world, a place where all my worries disappeared. A place where I could just sit in silence.
Around a year ago we were forced to move from that house, and I parted ways with my window. I reminisce of the early morning sunrises and late night winds, the pitter-patter on the clear glass, and the plethora of plums that would hang every summer afternoon.
As I look out the windows now, all I see are buildings, covering the stir of colors and the critters who come to visit. I no longer am able to see the starry night as it’s drowned out by the bright lights illuminating from my room. That window was the best part of my childhood and I will forever cherish the memories it holds.
Tanisha, I think this blog was extremely well structured. I've come to notice you like to chronologically position parts of your life into your blogs, and it tends to make for an enjoyable, casual, and simple yet informative read. I think it's especially interesting that you go inside your room to escape life; I feel like I am always inclined to go outside, and escape the confinement of four walls and a door. To be fair though, a window is essentially a door to the outside, so I guess we aren't that different.
ReplyDeleteI love that something so simple as a window holds such vivid and detailed memories. I feel like this kind of reflects the idea that as we've grown up, the moments that have shaped who we are don't necessarily need to be extravagant to be transformative.
I too have always loved outer space, in fascination of how stars pinpoint different parts of the sky, and weave constellations which stand for so much more than a simple image. I remember downloading an app on my dad's phone that helped guide where the constellations are; to this day, I never fail to find The Big Dipper—mostly due to the reason that it's the easiest to find. I also relate to your part of trying to converse and communicate with animals. I often find myself in deep discussion with my dog Duke, even though he is definitely deaf to my detailed diction. I strongly resonate with the effect the sky had on you; I wholeheartedly agree with its transformative powers, and one can escape from life while lost in the trance of a transcendent sunrise/sunset.
Overall, I think your blog was extremely interesting, and that it invited me to think.
Tanisha, I love how you value the things we may take for granted. My room, similar to yours, has a large window that spans the middle of the back wall. Through it I can peer into my backyard, and, during the night, see the moon shining in all its glory. As opposed to you, however, I didn’t truly understand the value of this simple window until much after the COVID-19 pandemic. When I was shut inside, I simply occupied myself with other things—but now I feel that it would have been better had I simply realized the beautiful view I had the entire time.
ReplyDeleteThe way you describe things is very engaging; I very much liked reading about the crisp cold air and the beautiful breathtaking sunrise and the pitter patter (of rain?) and the plethora of plums right outside your room. Not only do these details build such a full image of your experience, they’re also incredibly enjoyable to read.
I wrote about a similar feeling in my first blog while watching the sunset: momentarily being transported to another world and allowing myself to sit in the silence while watching the sky is truly magical. I’m glad more people are mentioning it and experiencing it as well.
Also, wow. I’ve never been dedicated enough to wake up before sunrise to finish a math assignment. Props to you.
I wanted to address the end of your blog first, because I will be completely honest, as someone who has been fortunate enough to not have moved around at all growing up, I cannot fathom the kind of grief one might feel over leaving one’s room. Especially with the love that you described it with. I’ve never been able to see the stars clearly from my window, for similar reasons that you can’t in your current window, but also because my room looks out into the driveway of our street, so not much there. I remember once when I went to Gilroy with my cousins at some point in December last year, and looking up, you could see so many stars so clearly---like it was right in your face. My cousins laughed at me for being so astounded by the stars, something they’ve seen plenty of over the years, but hearing your love for the stars reminded me of that. I used to share a similar interest in space, but now I’ve mostly settled for them aesthetically/artistically. Here’s hoping your current window will eventually bring you some new joys though!
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