Tanisha Madhukar - Blog 14 - The Bird That Came To Our House
“Did you know that one day,”
“Yeah?”
“A bird came to our house.”
Ever since I can remember my dad has been my biggest supporter. He’s always willing to keep up with my antics and has provided me with everything I’ve needed to get to this point. The early morning physics study sessions and the late night pick-ups from parties. My dad is my emotional rock. But he’s also the most peculiar person I know.
My father is a very reserved person, he doesn’t express much about himself and dislikes being the center of attention. In contrast to my mother, who is a social butterfly and values the spotlight. Although on the outside I seem more like my mother, I’ve noticed over the years that my thought process is similar most to my father.
Since I was young there has always been one question that my dad has asked me. I didn’t really understand why he asked me, especially because he always gave the answer after my response. Until, we were on a long car ride to San Francisco and my dad asked the question once again. I answered, then my brother asked “why do you always ask that question?” I too was curious as to why he always asked, but it never occurred to me to question it. My dad explained that when he was young he watched this random movie of this kid being abducted and switched with an alien. So when he had his own kids he thought that if they had this, sort-of, secret code, that if something like that were to ever happen, he would know that I was abducted by an alien.
If you were to ask anyone in my personal circle they would tell you that I talk about very random topics that often have no context outside my brain. I’m constantly thinking and when I voice a small part of it no one really understands. My friends have summed it up to me just being weird but I promise there is a process behind it.
It was not until last year when I began to understand my father. He is the embodiment, through my observations, of “actions speak louder than words,” and I admire the amount of compassion he has for his loved ones. I’ve realized that everything he does has a clear motive behind it, even if he doesn’t tell anyone. I too have picked up this habit, constantly thinking (sometimes a bit too much), but I value it. It reminds me of what I have learned from my father, both directly and indirectly.
So even when I fly the nest, I leave home to go out into the real world, I will remember the bird that came to our house.
Tanisha, the part about your dad thinking about that movie throughout the years and even asking you guys that one question is so sweet to me. From what I see, it’s like he’s put careful thought into alien abductions, but also in making sure you guys are truly his kids—from how you’re raised with him and in how you get to know your dad. That’s just so wholesome, and quirky of him too.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to how you’ve only begun to understand your father since last year, since I too find myself noticing my parents more as time goes on. And I understand your way of thinking too! I feel like I might have trains of thought crossing each other at all times, and people often can’t see the correlation in the things I might be brave enough to say. Sometimes, my mom is like this too. Reading your blog allowed me to reflect on the connections between my odd habits and my parents’ habits, so thank you for this.
Now that we’re all getting older, and eventually, farther from our parents, I truly appreciate your bird motif. I remember reading your blog when it was posted and thinking as I read that last line, wow, this is really a great blog.
Hi Tanisha! Your blog this week was very touching, and I really enjoyed reading it. Your writing is very thoughtful, and you tackle these concepts very eloquently.
ReplyDeleteMost dads I know are like this—not very openly expressive of their emotions, but very dedicated. My dad is included in this. Every day, he’s hard at work in front of his computer, and yet it always seems that he has time to drive me to class, help me with homework, or teach my sister to drive. Until a few years ago, I didn’t realize how incredibly difficult it must be to balance all that responsibility, but he does it very well.
I agree with what Emily said; it’s very sweet how your dad ensures that even in the scenario of an alien abduction, his children will be safe. It may seem slightly peculiar, but hey, you never know.
I also notice myself having adopted many of my dad’s characteristics, from the way he talks to the way he does his work. I’m not as dedicated as him (he used to comb through textbooks in weeks), but similar to you, it’s interesting to notice the parallels.
The linguistics behind “secret codes” or inside jokes is really fascinating to me, in the way that they often start out nonsymbolic, just a jumble of barely-related words, and gain meaning—and often symbolism—through their continued use. Of course, your personal example of “A bird came to our house” grew to symbolize your father’s dedication to ensuring you and your brother’s safety. My family’s equivalent would be “trash…hotdog…napkin,” a phrase repeated one too many times while cooking many prepackaged hotdogs in our car in Crater Lake National Park that served to cut through silent and boring road trips with a bit of fun laughter. Or even perhaps “I like your shoelaces” for the more chronically online.
ReplyDeletePerhaps your secret code was a way for your father to communicate to you, or at least to himself, a myriad of emotions and ideas and promises with the least amount of words possible, truly reflecting, as you put, that “actions speak louder than words.”