Tanisha Madhukar - Blog 16 - Swiss Miss

I hate that this is ending. I’m going to miss the weekly paragraphs that I write for everyone. I’m going to miss reflecting on different aspects of my teenage life. I’m going to miss the community that we’ve spent months building and nourishing. 

I often miss things in my daily life. I attribute it to the constant flow of thoughts throughout my brain combined with the constant pressure to perform both academically and socially. To counteract this forgetful feeling I’ll often miss things on purpose, that way I have an excuse for when I fail. 


Very recently, I was having a conversation with a fellow classmate about Beloved. I mentioned how I barely put any effort into reading and understanding the book, whereas they read the book not once, but twice, and watched videos to supplement the gaps in their understanding. I wonder if I had put as much care into understanding this book, maybe I wouldn’t have missed the magic the book had to offer.


For every test this year I found myself waking up around 3:00-4:00 am in the morning in order to study. This morning was no different as I found myself up at 3:00 am hunched over my desk as I scrambled to practice MCQ questions for my physics test. Once my mom came in I began to complain about the four units I had to cram into a 4-hour study session. I expressed the anxiety I felt while studying, thinking that I missed an important topic that would be on the test. My mom laughed in my face saying “at least you know what’s on the test.” “Life doesn’t like to tell you, it’ll just throw it at you when it thinks you’re ready.” Since this morning those words have been lingering in my mind. 


I miss the friends I’d see everyday on my street. I miss the year that was stolen from my childhood by a worldwide disease. I miss the people who would tell me stories and warn me not to make the same mistakes. 


But time waits for no one, and no longer will I miss what comes my way. 

Photo Creds: https://www.safeway.com/shop/product-details.960453995.html

(I know it's almost May but hot chocolate is for all seasons and if you disagree you can argue with the wall.)

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Romir Swar Week 9: Da-da-da-dat-Dat-da-da-da-da-ya-da

Image
If given the dilemma of losing one of your five senses—taste, touch, sight, smell, or hear—which one would you choose?  While I don’t necessarily have an answer of what I would be content losing, I know I would not be able to give up my sense of hearing. Ever since a young age, I've loved music. I've loved hearing instruments come together, and one of my biggest regrets is my lack of ability to play one. I love spending extra time in the car—after we have already reached home—listening to the radio or aux with my eyes closed, in an attempt to guess the song by its first three beats. As I’ve grown older, and experienced more and more music, I’ve further understood its significance and impact on not just my life, but lowkey the world around me.  I feel like we, as humans, take its impact for granted. Just imagine a life in which music didn’t exist. Sounds pretty dull, doesn’t it? It adds life to life, and gives personality to otherwise colorless experiences.  There are a my...
Read more

Lara Reyes-Terry, Week 9: Good Boy

Image
(Note: animal to animal violence is described although it is done poetically/non-graphically)  The barn stands strong and straight against the Midwest wind, a soldier on the plains of a setting sun, unnerved by the rusting sky. Curling up at the foot of the colossus, a Kangal sheepdog, maw shining sharp as it yawned. It breathes unevenly, a disfigured scar stretching as it did, coiling around its neck and tracking down its spine. I wouldn’t worry for the creature, the new wolf collar was a blessing from The Rancher. It could’ve done a better job the first time anyway—it’ll do better next time. “C’mon boy.” The command comes easy for the simple mind. There is no difference between Him and the voice that barks in its skull. Do your job follows and like a good dog, it doesn’t question where it came from—the illusion of freedom comes with the collar. It rushes to His side, preening at the reward of a hand on its head.  “You smell their trail, boy?”  Solid paws like ...
Read more

Shriram | Week 13 | Can You Hear The Music

Image
 “Life is Simple in the Moonlight” → It’s an atmosphere I couldn’t possibly replicate for you, no matter how hard I try: it’s night, but the sky is a deep cerulean blue. Dark, but as if the sun could jump out at any moment and bring the world back to life. We’re all asleep, my family and I, but my sister and I aren’t sleeping, our parents’ snoring is far too loud. We aren’t talking to each other either; it’s far too quiet. Had I gotten out of my bed and taken five steps towards the door, I would have been greeted with a captivating view of the bay, but I chose to stay inside where it was warm. I put on my headphones and listened to music.  Even today, the music I listened to takes me back. I couldn’t give you a list off the top of my head, but every so often I’ll hear a song and feel a strange sensation, like the wind against my face, or hear a strange sound like the waves falling on the shore.  what a calming view.   "Feel Again" → It’s not so much an atmospher...
Read more